What do you do?

I took a deep breath. I was visiting my home country and chatting with neighbors. I knew I had a delicate choice. I hoped to form a relationship with them, maybe even share the Good News of Jesus someday. But should I say I was a missionary?  

I knew from past visits that the word came loaded with baggage. For many, missionary implied colonialism, bigotry or religious fundamentalism. And judging by recent conversations in the neighborhood WhatsApp group, it wasn’t unreasonable to think they’d avoid me afterward.  

“I help establish micro-enterprises among some of the most marginalized peoples in the world,” I said. It may have only worked in that moment, but starting with something more palatable opened up a warm exchange of stories from our travels across the Middle East and Asia.  

As the conversation shifted to what had drawn us abroad, I shared my two-fold passion: to help people affected by poverty, conflict or lack of education and to engage in meaningful dialogue about faith and origin stories with those wanting to know more. My neighbors seemed intrigued by our respect for people, even with different beliefs. With some, I shared how many people overseas often live in systems where they must perform or appease to move towards a distant God. However, I’ve come to understand that God is the One who moved to form a relationship with us.  

“I have become all things to all men, that I might by all means save some. Now this I do for the gospel’s sake, that I may be partaker of it with you” (1 Corinthians 9:22b, 23).  

Paul clarified that he didn’t hide his relationship with Christ or his commitment to the law of God. But he did choose identities most conducive to relating with the people he was with “for the gospel’s sake.” Whether Jew or someone “outside the law,” he knew which identity to pick up or lay down, depending on those he was with.  

Core and Wearable Identities  

I find it helpful to think about identity in terms of our Core Identity and various Wearable Identities.  

My Core Identity is that I am a child of God, an heir with Christ. That’s defined by God and can never be taken away.  

Wearable Identities are temporary. They’re often the roles society uses to describe us. When I teach, I’m a “teacher.” But does that fully define me? Am I always a teacher? Would it be healthy if that were my primary identity in my marriage?  

Every day, we choose which identity to present. Even the clothes we wear communicate our values. Our speech reveals what we want others to know about us.  

What Would You Say?  

If I asked you your Core Identity, how would you answer? And what about your Wearable Identities?  

Is your church attendance, your job or your involvement in clubs and organizations core to who you are, or are they just temporary roles?  

As we age, we gather more identities, far too many to list when someone asks, “What do you do?” So, we choose the identity that fits the moment. Most of us have had to describe ourselves in a job interview at some point. We become good at wearing the identity that fits the situation.  

So, how do we ensure we choose the right identity to fit those around us, “for the gospel’s sake”?  

“Are you a Christian?”  

This time I was overseas in a large other religion-majority country, and of course I wanted to say “Yes!” and share the gospel with my new friend.  

But I knew that in his region, many Christians lived in ways he found very strange, even offensive to his conservative rural other religion values. He’d seen “Christians” who seemed to love eating pork and dressing immodestly to attend churches with loud Western music.  

So I tried a different approach:  

“Well, yes … but maybe not the kind of Christian you’re thinking of.”  

I spent the rest of the conversation distancing myself from his perception of immorality. It kind of worked, but for the most part, I found myself explaining what I wasn’t, rather than helping him understand who I was and Whom I followed.  

So now, with others, I try to sidestep and go straight to the heart. How can I express that I love Jesus, love the gospel and want to share those truths in a way that opens up relationship possibilities?  

If I’m in a context where I’d like to read the Bible with someone, I might say, “Yes, some may call me a Christian, but I like to think of myself as someone who loves God’s books.” With others who seem to dislike religion, I might say, “I’m not really religious in the way you might think. I’m following a relationship that used to be called the ‘Way.’” That often sparks curiosity. The early believers called themselves followers of the Way, and, in fact, the term Christian only appears a couple of times in Acts as a nickname given by others.  

Of course, not all identities work with all people. And that’s the point: We get to choose the identity that most helps introduce others to the gospel.  

Our Identity for the Gospel  

When faced with others’ assumptions about who we are or what we believe, we don’t have to accept the “boxes” they place us in. Instead, we can use how we communicate our identity to offer them a new way of seeing us, perhaps a new “concept box” that reflects our relationship with people, with God and with the gospel.  

Just as Paul wrote about the gospel, we do this so that we might share the blessings of the gospel with them.  

As we speak with others, are we putting them first? Could God use an identity we choose as a route for them to hear the gospel? What identity will build a bridge, not a barrier? Sometimes, the identity we adopt will challenge people. But at other times, like Paul, we may choose an identity to “win those” — to “save some.” 

The author and his wife served in a restricted context in Asia for 17 years. Their children are now working or at university. They currently help set up and guide new and existing teams in the Middle East, North Africa, Central Asia and Southeast Asia.